Yesterday was a shit day on record. I have had plenty more but I guess this was more unique in that I was enlightened even further how people truly are not inherently good.
I was of the belief that people are inherently good and that the bad, evil, or hurtful nature was more of a learned behavior, environmental per se. Boy was I fucking wrong.
You see people truly are just evil to the bone. Careless. Inconsiderate. I know personally I tried to hold myself to a higher moral ground and “do unto others” despite my failure in the Christian religion. I think that was just a basic feeling and right for conduct as a basic human being.
So why is it that people cannot act in that same fashion? Why is it that the treatment is always based on selfish, self-centered, hurtful actions. Even if the hurt is not on a grand scale, the hurt is evident none the less.
Considering myself an educated, intelligent, common sense bearing individual, I am at a loss, perplexed albeit for lack of a better term, as to why people can conduct themselves in such a way and expect a different fucking outcome.
Is cause and effect that hard to grasp? I guess Carl Rogers was wrong in his theory. Or maybe it is true of the Freudian egoism, the self centered being that people are completely unaware of their actions and how these actions may trigger a chain of reactions. Maybe I am proactive, maybe I am completely fucking nuts for being as kind hearted as I am, for always giving in to the faith of the greater good, that people are good, that by being who I am will get me anywhere.
All I am seeing is that by being nice, the better person, and attempting a greater understanding only gets me nowhere or totally fucked in life. Le sigh and I digress into self loathing for qualities that should be celebrated.
May those who defy Roger reek in their own self pain and the bitch of my friend karma, I shall revel in the Mangala Sutta for today.
Non-association with fools,
And association with wise men,
Worship of respectworthy persons,
This is the highest blessing.
Living in a civilized land,
Having done good in the past,
To set oneself in the right course,
This is the highest blessing.
Great learning and skill at work,
And well-practiced moral observances,
Words which are well spoken,
This is the highest blessing.
Taking care of father and mother,
Caring for wife and children,
And acting without confusion,
This is the highest blessing.
Giving and Dhamma-faring,
The protection of relatives,
Faultless actions,
This is the highest blessing.
Complete abstention from evil,
And abstention from drinking,
And heedfulness in the doctrines,
This is the highest blessing.
Reverence and humility,
Contentment and gratitude,
Listening to the Dhamma at the proper time,
This is the highest blessing.
Patience and gentleness,
And the influence of holy people,
Discussion of Dhamma at the right time,
This is the highest blessing.
A mind unshaken
By the worldy winds,
Sorrowless, pure, and full of peace,
This is the highest blessing.
Those who act in this way
Are undefeated in all circumstance
And attain happiness everywhere,