I started this blog with every intention to be a sounding board for rants, raves and just to share the minutiae I would not otherwise share on The Five Fish. Some topics just do not need to be covered on that venue. I started The Fish to talk about my family, life with twins, motherhood. Now my life is evolving as my children have grown from infancy to toddlers to little people and even my tween, I find I have less cutesy events to share about them and antics and more of accepting their privacy as individual people.
So now I have a new horizon of motherhood, womanhood, embracing the “me” part of all of life as I leave my kids to their privacy. With that many things have changed over the last several years, one of the most revealing events was leaving corporate America and finding my own niche. Going out on my own as a business woman, driving my own income, my own dreams and my own goals. High aspirations were to use this blog to share that vision…and to some degree I will.
You see during the six month stint that I was unemployed and seeking out what the hell I was going to do for work, chasing a business venture that I was half-ass invested with my heart and still looking for corporate backing, approval and employment; I saw myself as an individual. The moment came where I could stop looking at what I was going to do to provide for everyone else and what could I do to make me happy, what could I do for myself for once. Not that I am finished caring for my family or finished providing, but could I enhance how I was raising my kids? Was there a way to be present as a business owner without working a million hours to provide and still improve my personal self?
I found a personal trainer.
Weird response right? Who hires a personal trainer when they are unemployed and lacking on monthly income? I do! I did. I looked at what I wanted to do for myself which is transform who I am on the inside and the outside. Just in the last few months did I truly embrace that I no longer have goals when formerly working for the corporate machine. Finding my aspirations were empty, my dreams seemed far fetched, why? Why did I let these go? Was the reason because I wasn’t competing against someone else, fighting to climb some imaginary ladder of success? Not for a lack of drive, but a driver…ME.
Watching how the friends I have had the same aspirations, to transform themselves to become what they thought they couldn’t. That was me. Watching my friends invest in themselves because caring for yourself was important too. That was me. Pushing themselves to reach new goals, challenges and heights because who was there to stop them except themselves. That was me.
Now that is me.
My new horizon is to share with you that dreams can come true. That you can have it all because life is about proper balance, discipline and investing in what truly matters. Stop letting others write your story. Take your pen back and start writing, even if just the initial words, stop letting your own fear and fear of rejection and failure bring you to status quo, mediocrity. We are capable of so much more if we believe, the last bit of magic and or supernatural power lies in believing in something greater than ourselves to become more than what we ever imagined. I imagine something truly magnificent and I know that my God will take me beyond my wildest dreams because failure means I tried and that was not the route he wanted for me. I imagine strength and endurance I never knew possible because my God will help me reach that potential and so much more, to carry weight of physical and mental capacity that I doubt I have the power to carry myself.
Please come along with me as I transform who I am personally on the inside as this journey transforms who I am physically on the outside.